Another air travel confession

To the girl sitting next to me in 11b from Portland to Boise yesterday afternoon. I want to apologize that I pretended to sleep the entire flight. If I had looked in your direction I am afraid I would have drooled on your shoulder. The Paris Hilton perfume you were wearing was intoxication. I was scared too look at you because I had built you up to be the girl of my dreams. You smelled that good. I was enamored by your delicate scent. It was hot like a summer rodeo. It was also pleasant that your scent overpowered the smell of booze on the breath of the two ignorant pricks behind us. While your scent was intoxicating. The pair in row 12 was simply intoxicated. I thought "inside voices" applied to any enclosed space? Their boisterous behavior bothered both our peace and tranquility. I felt they were irritating many of the passengers with their passive aggressive attempt to control the tone of the flight. Recreating a line in a movie made by a flight attendant is not funny. Listen up dude; we know the seat belt needs to be fastened. I felt much more relaxed after fully reclining my seat back into the face of the profane prick behind me. I sensed the amusement you gathered from their, lack of, response as your puckered posture settled to one of a princess passenger. That was quite fitting for someone smelling as fragrant as you.

Confessions of air travel

To the guy sitting in seat 13A from San Jose to Portland this morning. Although my assigned seat 11D was perfectly fine. Even above average because a pretty girl was in 11E. I could not help but notice the extra 8 inches of leg room in seat 13B. It is very difficult for me to sleep with my knee pressed against the tray table. I just want to appologize for invading your personal space when I swapped seats, seconds before the flight attendant made their final seat count. I could tell from your shifting in your seat and grunting that you were dissatisfied. Next time use your words. Perhaps you would have talked me in to returning to the seat by the pretty girl. I just want you to know I slept like a baby. Thanks for the company.