Uncomfortably reclined

Although there are many things that are arguably worse. On the rare
occasion that the following happens to you. I feel confident that, at
that very moment of realization, you will agree. There is no greater
disappointment while flying.

The moment has finally come to press the shiny silver button and
activate the long awaited RECLINE feature on my seat back. But wait,
nothing happens. System failure! In an effort to further understand
what is causing my strife I try again. Still, nothing. I look at the
seat next to mine to gain perspective on the dilemma in 17B. Why is my
neighbors seat broken? Seemingly more forward than a seat back
should be. So I pull on the top of my seat to try and break it too. I
now come to discover the worst. I WAS RECLINED! It is going to be a
long decent to landing.

In all honestly things can be going great. Check in can be like a
warm breeze on your cheek. TSA security checkpoint can feel like your
own private security team. Boarding can be flawless - the only delay
caused by another gentleman ushering me to proceed while I say, "no,
you first".

Beware. Now that this great fortune has been bestowed upon me three or
four times. I feel confident saying; mark my words. There is no
greater disappointment while flying. There is something worse then
poor service. Even worse then a delay or stained shirt. During all of
these inconveniences you have a choice about how to proceed. But a pre-
reclined seat concurs the human spirit and torments the sub-
conscience in ways you can only imagine. As tempting as it is to land
with my seat reclined, I pass. The vicious cycle comes to an end with me.

WN terminates timetable.

Three days ago WN announced that this is their last production run of their now infamous reading material, the timetable.

Collect them while you can! They will soon be gone forever.

I just wanted to let you know WN is getting rid of their timetables. Here in Boise we read them religiously like the Mormons read the Book of Mormon. When things start heating up at the drive-in or in the bedroom. I always reach for my WN Timetable to cool things off. I keep one in the center console and another on the night stand. I travel with another one. They will be missed greatly.

Lazy boy in the sky

Although there are many things that are arguably worse. On the rare occasion that the following happens to you. I feel confident that you will agree. There is no greater disappointment while flying.

Over half way through the flight. The moment has finally come to press the shiny silver button and activate the long awaited RECLINE feature on my seat back. But wait, nothing happens. System failure! In an effort to further understand what is causing my strife I try again. Still, nothing. I look at the seat next to mine to gain perspective on the dilemma in 17B. Why is my neighbors seat broken? Seemingly more forward than a seat back should be. So I pull on the top of my seat to try and break it too. I now come to discover the worst. I WAS RECLINED! It is going to be a long decent to landing.

In all honesty things can be going great. Check in can be like a warm breeze on your cheek. TSA security checkpoint can feel like your own private security team. Boarding can be flawless - the only delay caused by another gentleman ushering me to proceed while I say, "no, you first".

Beware! Now that this great fortune has been bestowed upon me numerous times. I feel confident saying; mark my words. There is no greater disappointment while flying. There is something worse then poor service. Even worse then a delay or stained shirt. During all of these inconveniences you have a choice about how to proceed. But a pre-reclined seat conquers the human spirit and torments the sub-conscience in ways only imagined. As tempting as it is to land with my seat reclined, I pass. The vicious cycle comes to an end with me.

Another air travel confession

To the girl sitting next to me in 11b from Portland to Boise yesterday afternoon. I want to apologize that I pretended to sleep the entire flight. If I had looked in your direction I am afraid I would have drooled on your shoulder. The Paris Hilton perfume you were wearing was intoxication. I was scared too look at you because I had built you up to be the girl of my dreams. You smelled that good. I was enamored by your delicate scent. It was hot like a summer rodeo. It was also pleasant that your scent overpowered the smell of booze on the breath of the two ignorant pricks behind us. While your scent was intoxicating. The pair in row 12 was simply intoxicated. I thought "inside voices" applied to any enclosed space? Their boisterous behavior bothered both our peace and tranquility. I felt they were irritating many of the passengers with their passive aggressive attempt to control the tone of the flight. Recreating a line in a movie made by a flight attendant is not funny. Listen up dude; we know the seat belt needs to be fastened. I felt much more relaxed after fully reclining my seat back into the face of the profane prick behind me. I sensed the amusement you gathered from their, lack of, response as your puckered posture settled to one of a princess passenger. That was quite fitting for someone smelling as fragrant as you.

Confessions of air travel

To the guy sitting in seat 13A from San Jose to Portland this morning. Although my assigned seat 11D was perfectly fine. Even above average because a pretty girl was in 11E. I could not help but notice the extra 8 inches of leg room in seat 13B. It is very difficult for me to sleep with my knee pressed against the tray table. I just want to appologize for invading your personal space when I swapped seats, seconds before the flight attendant made their final seat count. I could tell from your shifting in your seat and grunting that you were dissatisfied. Next time use your words. Perhaps you would have talked me in to returning to the seat by the pretty girl. I just want you to know I slept like a baby. Thanks for the company.